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effie: Mascara’s?
abba: Ok.
I’ve only ever used a few. However, one is coming to mind…a pink one?
effie: Pink?
abba: Yeah, the one that people have been using since the fucking 80's.
effie: Ooohh, Maybelline Great Lash. It gives me crazy tarantula Tammy Faye eyes.
abba: HAHAHAHAH Omg, I was just about to say! I get those KILL IT WITH FIRE Tarantula eyes.
effie: Exactly. Someone tried to set my face on fire because of Great Lash. It’ll be on the next Tyra.
abba: I'm pretty sure I've had nightmares involving Great Lash sealing my eyes shut for all eternity with its tar like consistency. Yuugh.
effie: Ahaahahaha! Allure has voted that shit like the Top Mascara of All Time probably a thousand years in a row. I'm like really everyone? NOTHING else works for you?
Moving along - remember when Mom used to give us her free L’ancome samples of Definicils?
abba: Oh wow! Yeah! I think I used those samples all through middle and high school
This in retrospect was a bad idea. And probably the source of many eye infections.
effie: HAHAHA Eeewww. Crusty eyes.
abba: Speaking of horrible maladies to befall our sensitive little eyeballs...
Do you remember when you used that mascara on me for Halloween and we tried to make it look "runny" with eye drops and it set my eye on fire?
That shit burned like acid. What was that?
effie: Systane eye drops
Also, your eyes are wimps.
abba: No no, the mascara.Was that MAC?
effie: Oh I dunno. Probably zoom lash.
abba: Yikes. More like doom lash.
effie: But I think it was the eye drops that fucked you up. Definitely not the mascara.
Pretty sure the eye drops were expired
abba: How dare you.
effie: Hahahahah! You couldn't handle lash glue either, remember? You were like OHGODITBURNS
abba: Because it got in my EYE! You were just trying to blind me that night.
effie: I'm pretty sure it didn't.
abba: I'm pretty sure it did.
effie: I'm pretty sure you have an extra ten million nerves in each eyeball.
Because you are such a wuss.
abba: I hate you.
Let’s wrap this up.
What are your fav's and you never again's?
effie: Ok.
Fav’s: zoomlash by m.a.c. & diorshow by dior
Never Again’s: Plushlash by m.a.c. because I ran out of zoomlash last month and bought plushlash since it's supposed to be for volume and curl. Two things I lack desperately.
The brush on plushlash is too fat to get in the corners.
I like to fan the outer corners out as much as possible and I can't seem to get that fat fucker in there without risking serious injury.
So zoomlash was better.When I run out of plushlash I'm going back to that.
And, umm Great Lash by Maybelline.
abba: Obv.
effie: Yours?
abba: Well, since I have barely tried any mascaras in my lifetime, I'm going to stick with Lash Blast Volume by Covergirl, & Definicils by L’ancome as my fav's.
And umm, Great Lash by Maybelline & Lash Blast Lengthening as my never again’s.
effie: The Lash Blast one is like...guitar shaped right?
Or hourglass?
Of course I would say guitar shaped. I'm such a fool.
abba: FOOLISH SISTER THERE ARE NO GUITAR SHAPED BOTTLES
It’s like...rocket shaped?
effie: I’m talking about the brush, you moron.
Not the tube.
abba: Oooh. Not really.
effie: Nevermind, I just saw a pic and you're right. I was thinking about that new Rimmel one.
abba: I’m down to try it. I wanna try the Rimmel products. I hear a lot of conflicting reviews so I wanna give it a shot.
effie: I've only ever bought a nail polish and it sucked. The color was pretty but the quality is super gluey and terrible.
abba: That’s not enough to make an informed opinion on their products!
Wait, WE'RE DERAILING! Ok, which ones do you wanna try?
effie: Oh what’s the one with the tubes?
abba: ...
effie: I haven't read any reviews on it. But yeah, it forms tubes around your lashes.
abba: …tubes? Sounds like L'oreal.
effie: Yeah, and then with warm water the tubes just fall off so your lashes don't get damaged.
Yup! L'oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes
OMG
And have you seen that Givenchy Phenomeneyes?
The brush is just like a spiky little ball at the end that's a great idea because you basically have total control.
abba: Haven’t heard of it, but I think I’m going to give L'Oreal Telescopic Explosion Breakthrough Mascara a shot. It has the same brush. And that stupid little brush gets me every time I see the commercial. EVERY TIME!
effie: Cool. So next time, powders/foundations? We could probably go on for ages about that.
abba: Let’s do it.
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